Broken (English translation)
by Hope July
Summary: Facing the Evil Queen who is provoking her, Emma knows she doesn't stand a chance. Her opponent is much better than her with a sword. She tries to protect the town, but she gets stabbed despite her effort. Badly hurt, will our Savior be able to survive with the help of Killian and her family? (OS post 6x01 promo pictures)


**Hi guys!**

 **Here's another translation of one of my OS. I wrote this one before season 6 started, and was inspired by the promo pictures of Emma fighting the hooded figure. It doesn't follow the story of the show, it's just what I thought could happen after seeing the pictures. I hope you'll like it! :)**

* * *

"Tell me, it must not be easy to fight in that dress." I scoffed, taking up a combat position.

"When you know what you're doing, Savior, it isn't complicated at all." My opponent chuckled, not looking afraid at all by what was happening.

I felt my heart starting to pound in my chest. A thick fog had took place in the town earlier this evening, and I hadn't understood where it was coming from before coming face to face with the Evil Queen. She was standing a few feet ahead of me, a big smile on her face. She was dressed in a cape and a hood was covering her face, but I could see her ponderous dress underneath it. She was looking at me with a toothy grin, and I shivered, but she didn't attack right away. I was feeling my family's presence behind my back : my parents, Killian and Henry. They couldn't do anything, they couldn't come and help me : the queen had made herself quite clear. If they tried anything, she would kill them right away with her magic. I was the only one she wanted. She wanted to kill me, like she had wanted to kill my mother before that. All of this because I was the Savior. She knew that with me standing in her way, she couldn't succeed in her plan. She wanted to take control over the town. She wanted a knew kingdom. So she came to fight me and, I could see it in her eyes, she was sure to win this duel.

"Very well" She resumed in a confident tone. "Before we begin, I'd like to establish a few rules. No magic. Don't even try to think about it, because if I have the least little suspicion, they all die."

She stuck out her chin toward my family, and I heard someone gasp behind me. I didn't turn back, afraid of my opponent attacking me while I wasn't prepared for it. I was scared. I knew why she didn't want to use any magic : she was afraid of my powers, because she knew I could beat her with them. I was the Savior. A sword fight was absolutly non-threatening for her, as I wasn't a master in that field, and I couldn't go against her will. She would kill my family, the people I loved the most in this word, and I couldn't risk that. I would have rather died.

"I didn't even know you knew how to sword fight, _your majesty_ " I provoked her, trying to hide my fear.

I was shaking and took a deep breath to calm me down. I couldn't break down, not now. The entire town was counting on me. They needed my magic. I couldn't let them down

"Unlike you, I had a family to teach me the basis since I was a little girl" She replied insidiously.

I frowned, trying to chase the anger away. I knew she was trying to distract me by her words. I couldn't let that happening. So I took a few more deep breaths and forced myself to smile calmly.

"Really? That's the only thing you've found to win? Trying to provoke me and make me mad ? Well, it's not working, because nothing will happen. I'm fine."

"Oh yeah?" She replied, smiling once again. "And yet you have so many fears. It's so easy to throw you off."

"What should I be afraid of, tell me?" I asked, still smiling but well aware that I wasn't really convincing. "I have a family, friends, people who love me… You have no one."

She laughed in a sick way, and I shivered once again. She was looking crazy. She could kill me any moment now, I knew it. I had to stay calm, I couldn't let the fear take over me.

"Do you really think I believe that? My poor princess, your fears are so strong, even if you don't want to admit it. You're so afraid of people leaving you once again, because that's always how it ends up for you. And maybe there is a reason for that, and it's not complicated to guess. You're not good enough, Emma. You're a disappointment, and that's why everybody leaves you eventually."

I clenched my jaw and had to fight myself in order not to jump at her throat. How dared she? The worst was that she had just hit the nail on the head : I was so scared of being left alone again, because people had always left me my entire life. And the words she had pronounced, it was the ones that were haunting me at night when I wasn't able to fall asleep. There had to be a reason why people were awlays letting me down. In one way or another, it had to be my fault, because no one could leave someone they love without a really good reason. I wasn't good enough. I knew it deep inside, and she had just said it aloud.

"Swan, don't listen to her!"

Killian's voice made its way to my brain. He had spoken despite the danger he was facing, because he knew that the Evil Queen could kill him by lifting a finger. I felt my heart start pounding a little faster in my chest : even if he knew he could die, he just wanted to make me feel better. God, I loved him so much. I loved all of them so much. I was fighting for them and I had to win for them. The Evil Queen frowned and looked behind my back, saying in a threatening way :

"If you say one more word, I'm beheading you, pirate."

"If you think that those lies are going to upset me..." I said, trying to distract her from Killian and squeezing the sword in my hand.

"Lies?" She repeated with a laugh. "You know it's the truth. If it hadn't been, your parents would never have left you as a baby."

I heard my mom moving behind my back, but she didn't dare to say anything. I bit the inside of my cheek to try and calm down, but it was really hard. I was trying to keep my head clear, but she was saying aloud all the doubts I'd had inside of me for years. I stuck up my chin, trying to look strong and clear-headed. I couldn't let her distract me from my goal. I had to defeat her, I had no other choice.

"If my parents left me, it's because of you." I said in a somewhat broken voice

"They could have kept you with them instead of putting you in the wardrobe. They chose their kingdom over you." She replied, enjoying the fact I was battling against my demons right before her eyes.

"I was the only one able to fight your fucking dark curse..."

"That's what you're telling yourself, because you don't want to admit the truth."

"They didn't have a choice!"

I had screamed on the last sentence. I was feeling the anger tensing up my limbs. I was literally fighting against myself in order not to punch her in the face. But that was what she wanted, and I had to resist. _Don't listen to her, be strong_

"Oh yeah?" She resumed, seeing that I was about to break down. "If you hadn't been a disappointment, they would never have had another child. They wanted a second try, because you aren't good enough for them."

She looked at me right into my eyes, and I felt the anger boiling in my veins. If she didn't stop, I didn't know what I was going to do. Understanding that she was going to have what she was looking for, she added with a horrible smile :

"You're a disappointment for everyone, Emma."

"MY PARENTS LOVE ME!" I yelled, before throwing myself in front of her without thinking about the consequences.

"Emma, no!

"Mom!"

Our blades clashed against each other, and I understood right away that I had just made a terrible mistake. She was way better than me in that game, and her sword was skillfully flying around her like she had done that her entire life. I was managing to narrowly ward off her shots, not knowing what I was doing but instinctively guessing where she wanted to hit me. But it wasn't enough : I wasn't able to attack her properly, and my muscles were starting to hurt really bad.

After a few more minutes, my gestures started to become much slower. The sword seemed really heavy in my hands, and my arm was painful because of its weight. I was dizzy, and sweat was streaming down my temple. I knew I couldn't fight for much longer. So I decided to go for it, knowing that it was my last chance.

I moved much slower that I had hoped I would, and I tried to hit her on the right side, but she managed to counter my try with an amazing easiness. I had the time to see in her eyes that she knew she had won. And I understood that it was probably the end. Then, without giving me the time to react, she smiled and her blade sank deeply into my right side, just underneath my ribs.

I gasped, and my sword fell on the ground. It sounded like people were calling me behind my back, but their voices were muffled, like if I was under water. She kept staring at me right into my eyes, and she turned the blade in my stomach. It provoked an absolutely disgusting noise, and she brought the sword out as quickly as she had attacked.

The pain hit me all at once, and all my body liquefied. It was hurting me so much. I fell down on my knee, my legs unable to support my weight anymore, and my back violently hit the ground. Laying on the road, I would have wanted to yell, but couldn't make a sound. My body was only a huge amount of pain, and the air couldn't reach my lungs anymore. I was choking, and I couldn't even cry. Everything seemed to idle around me, and I felt like I had fallen into another dimension. Unable to move, my eyes staring at the pitched-black sky above me, I heard panicked cries around me. A puff of air made me understand that my opponent had disappeared. I had failed. I had failed, and I was going to die. That was the end for me. I couldn't be otherwise, because it was hurting way too much. I was a survivor, but I couldn't survive this. I knew it.

"Emma!"

I saw people kneeling down around me from the corner of my eyes. Someone elevated my head to try and help me breathe, but I was still feeling like I was suffocating. Tears were streaming down my face from the pain, and I sill couldn't make a sound.

"Henry, call an ambulance! Now!"

"Emma, can you hear us?"

I tried to talk and reassure them, but a metallic taste filled my mouth, and I started spitting blood. Someone gasped. My mom took off the sweater she was wearing over a t-shirt, and pressed it against the open wound on my stomach, trying to stop the bleeding.

"Fuck, where the bloody hell is Regina when we need her?!" Killian cried out in a shaking voice, running his hand through my hair.

"We all know her magic can't do anything to help her." My mom sobbed. "The wound is too deep. We need the Dark One's power."

"Well, somebody go and find the fucking crocodile, then!"

"The ambulance is gonna get here any minute now." My dad said in a broken voice. "She's not going to die."

The pain was starting to magically fade away. I couldn't feel anything in my body anymore. I was panting, and had to fight to keep breathing just a little bit. But it wasn't hurting me anymore. I felt my eyes starting to slowly shut down, and I wasn't strong enough to keep them open.

 _So that's what death feels like_

"Breathe, love, it's gonna be okay. You just have to hold on a little longer." Killian said, tears running down his beautiful face.

"Mom, don't leave us, please..."

Despite my family's supplication, I was feeling like I was going away to a place where pain was something unknown. It felt good, and even if I wanted to fight for those I loved, I was so tempted to go and join this place. I used my last strength to turned my head and meet Killian's eyes. My hand grabbed Henry's, and I stayed there, unable to move.

"Don't die..." Hook begged with a sob.

Within the chaos that was starting to invade my brain, the Evil Queen's voice cruelly rang into my ears :

 _You're a disappointment for everyone, Emma_

I searched for Killian's gaze. He was still talking to me, but I couldn't understand what he was saying anymore. I felt the air got stuck in my chest, and all my limbs got stiff for a second. My head fell on its side, and my eyes shut down.

"Don't die!" Hook repeated.

His voice was the last thing I heard before passing out.

* * *

I was awakened by a horrible pain in my stomach and my lungs. I suddenly opened my eyes, and started panicking because I had no idea what was going on. Everything was blurry, I had an oxygen mask on my face, and I was laying on a stretcher. An ambulance was ringing near me, but I didn't understand that I was into the vehicle because I was too confused. Terrified and in pain, I started whimpering.

A hand instantly grabbed mine. I was choking from the panic. I finally saw Killian's face appearing above me, and calmed down just a little bit. His eyes were red as if he had cried a lot, and he seemed more worried that he had ever been since I knew him.

I looked up to ask him what was going on, and why he was looking so desperate, but I started coughing, and the pain got worse. My eyes filled in with tears, and Killian put his hand on my forehead to comfort me.

"You're in an ambulance, love. Don't talk, it will only make things worse."

I didn't understand anything. How had I gotten hurt? Why was the pain so strong? I looked at him and he understood that I was looking for answers.

"You've got stabbed, baby."

I gasped from the surprise, and remembered everything all at once. The duel with the Evil Queen, my defeat, Killian begging me to stay alive.

 _Don't die!_

"Hang on" He added as if he had heard my thoughts. "I know you're strong. You're the strongest person I've ever met. You can survive this. You can't die, not now. Please."

I wanted to talk, to comfort him because he had started crying, but I felt my heart started to pound faster and faster in my chest. The air got stuck once again in my lungs, and my entire left side was killing me. The monitoring next to me started ringing and two paramedics leaned forward to look at me with worry.

I was in pain, I was scared, and I felt like my heart could explode if it didn't calm down. It was going to broke my ribs, and my stomach was hurting even more than before.

"She's having a heart-attack!"

I barely heard the voice, and the machine started ringing continuously on my side. I felt like I was dying once again. And then everything went black.

* * *

A little room in a hospital. It's dark inside. Everything is quiet except for the noise coming from the machines placed next to the bed. The sun is starting to rise outside, and one of the first ray of sunshine leans on the white sheets covering the bed.

A young woman is laying inside of it. Her blond hair are spread out on the pillow. An oxygen mask is covering half her face, and she is linked to an intravenous route. She's unconscious. Her eyes are closed and she seems peaceful. But that's not true. She fought all night to stay alive. She has been operated right away, and the doctors have tried anything to stop the internal bleeding that was killing her slowly. But several of her vital organs have been touched ; her liver, her intestines and one of her kidneys. Magic can't do anything for her anymore. The operation lasted for hours and went well, but she's not safe yet. She's in an induced coma to prevent her from suffering too much. She's between life and death. A little closer to death.

The door opening breaks the quiet of the room. A man appears, and stays still for a few seconds, letting the door shutting down behind him. He's horrified by what he's seeing. The woman he loves is in this bed, and she has never seemed more vulnerable. He knows she's fighting for her life. His eyes fill in with tears once again. They have just found each other again, and they are separated once more. Maybe for good this time. He blames himself because he didn't manage to protect her. But he knows deep down that it's not his fault : he would have died if he had tried anything.

He walks shyly toward the bed. He sits down on the edge of a chair next to the woman of his life. He knows he doesn't have much time : the doctor doesn't want too many people in the room at the same time, and her family is waiting to see her. He doesn't really know what he's doing, but he leans forward to press a kiss on her forehead, hoping that she's there somewhere and that she can feel his presence. Then he takes her hand and says in a broken voice :

"I love you. Hang on. Please"

* * *

 _I'm flying. No, I'm floating. A beautiful clear blue sky surrounds me. Underneath my feet, the ocean stretches as far as can see._

 _Everything is clear in my head. I'm not scared anymore._

 _I understand everything. I can hear everything happening around me in the hospital room. I'm in an induced coma because I would suffer too much otherwise. No one know if I'm going to survive this or not. Imprisoned in this heavenly place, I don't have a choice over life and death. So I wait, and I listen, as a spectator of my own life._

 _My parents, my son and Killian come to see me every day. Hook is the only one to stay overnight. I know he's watching over me. He thinks that leaving me alone in that little room is an abandon. And he's so scared about my possible death, so scared he's always beside me. It's like he's scared I will disappear if he leaves my sight for a second. I'm worried about him. He's exhausted and he barely eats. I don't want him to get sick. I want to tell him to take care of himself, but I can't. I'm helpless._

 _They are talking to me all the time. They are begging me to stay alive. Henry is in complete distress, my parents are crying all the time, and I know Regina is blaming herself, even if she never tries to talk to me because she thinks I can't hear her. She's feeling guilty because she separated herself from the Evil Queen, she was in town because of her and she thinks that if I die, it's her fault._

 _But she's wrong. I don't blame her. It's my fault, not hers. If I hadn't lost my nerve, maybe I wouldn't have been here. Maybe I would have managed to fight the queen._

 _Maybe…_

 _One night, Hook is alone with me in the room. He's not sleeping. He's beside me and he's holding my hand. I know his speech is going to be an important one. I can guess it at his jerky breath. The longer I stay in the coma, the more scared he becomes because he knows that if the doctor doesn't wake me up, it's because I'm still between life and death. I listen carefully as he presses my fingers between his own._

"Hey, beautiful. Look, I still don't know if you can hear me, but I need to talk to you. It's been a week since you're here, love, and Whale doesn't even know if you're gonna make it. I'm so scared, Em'. Nobody knows what's gonna happen now. I don't want to lose you. You can't die, not now. We've just found each other again. We have a future together, the house I chose for us in Camelot, we can have a life in it. We can get married, have children if you want to… Please don't leave me now, Swan. I'm begging you. If you can hear me, please fight for your life. Don't give up. You're strong, you can survive this. Don't die. I love you more than anything in this life, Emma, so please, hang on. I couldn't stand living without you.

 _His voice breaks. He's crying. He lifts my hand and presses a kiss on it. I want to comfort him, to tell him that I'll be all right. I've never seen him like this, and it hurts. But I can't do anything : I'm not in charge here._

 _So I keep on waiting and listening._

 _After a while, another sentence gets my attention. It's Whale who is talking this time :_

"Her vital signs finally seem stable. I think we can wake her up now."

"Is she going to be all right?" _my mom asks in a muffled voice_

"I honestly don't know." _the doctor admits._ "But we can't leave her like that for months. I think it's time."

"Will she suffer?" _Killian asks, holding my hand_

"It's probable. But she's under painkillers. We hope it won't hurt too much"

 _Killian_ _doesn't say anything. He knows I'm tough. I understand that I'm going to leave this peaceful place, and I don't know how to feel. I'm so happy to talk to my family again and it means that I'm better if Whale wakes me up. But I'm also so scared. I know that the pain is gonna be really hard to bear._

 _Far away, in the middle of the ocean, something suddenly appears. I look carefully, a bit puzzled. It's the first time something changes in this fictitious universe. And I finally see what it is : a ship._

 _I don't have the time to ask myself anymore questions. The sea that has been so quiet since I'm here starts to fuss. A storm is coming. Huge waves are crashing against the ship, it's beautiful and terrifying at the same time. The sky turns gray, and the thunders rages._

 _I'm not floating anymore. I'm falling, faster and faster, toward the ocean torn apart by the storm. My fall is long, and I don't know when it's going to end._

 _I'm scared. I close my eyes. I know my awakening is going to be painful, as I know I'm going to forget everything about this place. I'm still falling. I suddenly feel nauseous. It's the first physical sensation I have since my accident._

 _Finally, the fall ends. My feet touches the water. And..._

* * *

The first thing I heard was a buzzing sound, then a strange antiseptics smell filled my nose. My eyes still closed, I could feel a hand holding mine. I didn't know where I was, everything seemed a bit blurry in my mind, and all my limbs felt numb. A bit puzzled, I decided to open my eyes and see what was going on

The light from the neon above me blinded me for a second. I blinked several times and finally got used to the brightness. The first thing I saw was a white ceiling, and I understood I had to be in a hospital. As soon as my eyes were open, the pressure on my hand got stronger, and I turned my head to see that Killian was sitting on the bed next to my feet. He looked deeply worried, and greeted me in a low voice :

"Welcome back, beautiful..."

"How are you feeling?" asked a feminine voice

I looked around me to see that Killian wasn't alone. Whale, my parents and my son were standing in the room, surrounding my bed, and they all looked absolutely amazed to see me move. I wanted to talk and tell them I was all right. I couldn't stand seeing them looking so worried. I opened my mouth, but immediately choked on something. I felt my heart starting to pound in my chest because I didn't know what was going on, and Whale leaned forward to talk to me in a comforting way.

"It's okay, Emma, you've been intubated. Don't try to talk right now. We're going to take that off, okay?"

I nodded, eager to talk with my family and reassure them a little bit. The procedure turned out to be horribly unpleasant, but Killian's thumb gently rubbing my hand made me feel better. After a few minutes, I could finally open my mouth, and started in a surprisingly husky voice.

"I don't really know, but it's not aching for now"

I wasn't telling that to ease them, it was the truth. It felt like I was laying on something really soft, and I didn't know how it was possible. I had no idea what had happened since I had passed out in the ambulance, and I was surprised by this lack of pain. Getting stabbed wasn't supposed to be painless. Whale understood my inner interrogations and said with a little smile.

"It's normal you don't feel anything for now. You were in an induced coma, and the drugs are still working. When they'll stop being effective, we're going to give you morphine so you don't suffer too much."

I frowned, a bit concerned. The fact that he was planning on using morphine meant that I was going to be in a lot of pain. I nodded and didn't add anything, deciding to enjoy the quiet when I still could. Whale smiled and examined me for a few minutes to make sure that everything was okay for now, then he walked out the door.

I turned my head to look at my family, and winced a little bit. My neck felt stiff as if I had slept in a bad position and I reached to massage it with my hand, trying to lighten it.

"Is it hurting somewhere?" Killian asked with concern.

I looked up to him and tried to smile to reassure him. He was still holding my hand as if he was scared I could disappear. He was staring at me with great worry in his eyes, as if I had just come back from the dead. I shook my head and squeezed his hand to show him I felt fine for now. I looked at my parents and my son, who were still staring at me. I had no idea how much time I had spent in the coma, nor what had really happened to me, but I could guess that was bad. I wanted to ask them so many questions, but I couldn't really choose because my brain was still feeling a bit foggy because of the drugs. I needed a couple of seconds to finally know what to say, and I started talking again :

"What happened exactly?"

My parents looked at each other as if they were scared about upsetting me with what they were going to say. My mom started talking in a really gentle voice, even if I could see she was trying hard not to cry. She explained everything to me, and I learned that I had spent ten days in the coma, because my condition was really severe. I had had a big operation in order to save my life, and I would have suffered too much if I had stayed conscious. They apparently thought I wouldn't make it, and the fact that I was awake now was a miracle.

"You scared us to death." Henry stated, taking my free hand to squeeze it between his fingers.

"I'm sorry..." I started, saddened to see them all so worried.

"Don't you dare apologize, understood?" Killian cut me off gently. "It's not your fault. We're just happy you're awake and talking."

Then, with a great gentleness as if he was scared to hurt me, he leaned forward to press a kiss on my forehead. I squeezed his hand a little bit more between mine, suddenly feeling really anxious. I was alive, sure, but I had understood I wasn't safe yet. I had no idea what had happened to the Evil Queen, and I was scared : Was she still out there? If so, I was in great danger. She could come here anytime and kill me with her magic, because I was too weak to defend myself. This was without talking about all the bad things she could do in the town now that I wasn't able to protect it. Trying to stay calm, I asked in a somewhat shaking voice :

"And… what about the Evil Queen? Did you find her?"

"Unfortunately no, not yet anyway." My dad said with a little wince. "she's always a step ahead of us..."

My heart skipped a beat from the fear. I wasn't strong enough to use my magic if I needed to, and if she decided to attack, I wouldn't make it. I had survived to her first try, but it hadn't been a total failure : now that I was laying in a hospital bed, she could do anything to me, and I was terrified.

"We'll find her." Killian assured, as if he had heard my thoughts. "Don't worry about that. We will not let her hurt you again. I promise."

I turned to him with a slight smile. I could see he was as scared as I was, but he wanted to reassure me anyway. I knew he wanted to take me into his arms and hold me tight, but he was scared to hurt me, as if I had transformed into a delicate little thing. I moved to intertwined our fingers together, and my mom started to talk again to fill the scared silence that had filled the room.

"Everyone was really worried about you, you know. You had a lot of visitors..."

She started to tell me about all the people who had come to see me while I was in the coma, and I tried to listen to her, but hundredth of thoughts seemed to be crashing inside my head. Now that the drugs were starting to wear off, I was becoming more and more afraid. I was thinking about the Evil Queen and the fact that my injuries were pretty bad, and I realized I was more likely to die than to go home. I slightly shook my head, trying to see how lucky I was to be with the people I loved. I was happy to have my family around me, because I knew I wasn't alone. They were there, they loved me and they were going to support me no matter what… And that was really comforting.

After a few more minutes, I started feeling a slightly tingling around my right side. I tried not to think about it, but it became stronger and stronger, until it was really nasty. Not knowing if it was normal, I gently interrupted my mom to ask my family's opinion :

"Something doesn't feel right in my… God!"

The cry of pain seemed to ring into the suddenly quiet room. The tingling had suddenly changed into an acute pain, and I was feeling like I was burning from the inside. I pressed my arms against my stomach in the hope it would make things better, but it hurt a little bit more, if only it was possible.

"Emma, what's happening?"

Killian had put his hand on my forehead and was staring at me with great worry, not knowing what was going on. I whimpered, all my body stiff because of the pain, and I managed to stay in a muffled voice :

"I think that… The drugs aren't effective anymore..."

"I'm calling Whale!" My dad said before running out of the room.

The pain was unbearable. I was trying to stay strong and look okay for my family, but little whimpers were coming out of my mouth despite my efforts. Killian was standing above me, and was trying to stay calm, even if I could see he was panicking. Tears in his eyes, he was running his hand through my hair and was whispering gentle words in my ear.

"Shh, sweetheart, it's gonna be okay… We're here, and Whale is going to be there any minute. The pain is going to disappear, you just have to hang on a little longer..."

Tears were streaming down my face, and I regretted for a second to be conscious, because I wasn't suffering when I was in the coma. Whale came into the room after a few more endless minutes, and he gave me a shot of morphine.

I got better very quickly, and I felt my eyes starting to close while I was leaving for a painless place. Before passing out, I had the time to think about how long the following weeks were going to be. And then everything went black again.

* * *

And the days went by, slowly and hardly because I wasn't getting any rest. I was in pain every time the morphine stopped being effective, and they couldn't give the drug to me all day long. Despite my will to be strong, I was unable to do so. It was hurting to much. I was feeling like the organs touched by the sword were on fire and I couldn't help myself but cry because of the pain. The few steps I had to walk between my bed and the little bathroom were practically impossible to cover, but I was refusing the help of my family. It was aching like hell, but I was way to proud to lose the last bit of autonomy I had.

I had forbidden Henry to come see me in the hospital, and I was only talking with him on the phone. I didn't want him to see me like that. He had already watched the Evil Queen stab me and he was there when I had awoken and cried from the pain. It was enough, I couldn't stand my son to see me in that horrible state. Whale was saying that I was getting better and better, but I was still feeling so bad it was hard to believe. I didn't even see the scar that was stretching on my right side yet. I had understood it was quite frightening, and I didn't want to make me feel worse. So every time the doctor was changing my bandages, I was looking away and staring at Killian, who was always beside me. He made me feel a little bit better, and I couldn't have thanked him enough for being so supportive.

He had practically never left since I had woken up. He was sleeping on the couch placed next to my bed, was taking showers on the bedroom's bathroom and was only going out for a couple of minutes every day to go get something to eat, most of the time because I had asked him to. He was always telling me he wasn't hungry but I knew he only wanted to stay with me, and I didn't want him to get sick.

He was the one who was there even when the morphine wasn't able to stop the pain anymore. He was the one holding my hand and whispering comforting words in my ears when the fear was providing me from falling asleep, because I was terrified about what had happened. He was the one who was helping me getting through the pain, day after day, He was giving me the will to fight for my life when I just wanted to give up, because I knew he would always be there no matter what could happen. I wasn't alone anymore.

"I love you. We'll get through this." He was tirelessly whispering to me when I couldn't take it anymore and I started sobbing.

And despite the horrible state I was in, his words were always managing to comfort me.

* * *

After another week spent at the hospital, Whale finally decided that it was time for me to go home, making me promise that I would call him if anything happened. I was happy to go out of the hospital, but I was still feeling really bad, and I was scared. After my dad had parked his truck in front of my house, I tried to get up by myself and categorically refused Killian's help who was offering me to carry me into the house. I tried to walk and join the front door, but it was hurting so bad I had to bite my lips to prevent me from yelling in pain. Killian saw how bad I was feeling, and he lifted me up from the ground without asking for my permission, carefully dropping me on the living room couch.

I leaned against the sofa, my eyes filled in with tears because I knew that if I wasn't able to walk a few feet, I was going to suffer for a very long time. Killian sat down next to me and cupped my face with gentleness :

"Everything is going to be okay, love. I know it's hard. I know you're in pain and you feel bad because you want to live normally. But everything is going to fall in place soon. You're strong, you're the bravest woman I've ever met, and you can do it. You're alive. The hardest is behind you now."

I nodded, knowing that he was right. He offered me a slight smiled, and I buried my face into the crook of his neck, finally letting my tears run down my face.

* * *

A few hours later, I was laying on the bed in my bedroom, staring at the ceiling and trying to ignore the pain. I had woken up twenty minutes prior, and I wasn't able to fall back to sleep because my stomach was hurting too much. In addition to that, every time I was trying to close my eyes, The Evil Queen was there, looking at me in a threatening way, and I was absolutely terrified. I could hear Killian walking downstairs, but didn't call him to say that I was awake. He was exhausted and he needed some rest. I was going to leave him be for a bit.

I let go of a long sight, wondering when I could finally live a normal life again. I had lost a lot of weight since the accident, my injured liver and intestines weren't allowing me to eat a lot, and I wasn't that hungry anyway. The pain was taking away all of my appetite. I wasn't able to do my job nor do anything that was asking me to get up, and that included pretty much everything. I knew that it was going to get better – Whale had said that I was safe now as long as I wasn't trying to play hero – but I was desperate. It was too much to take.

I turned my head toward the mirror that was hanging next to the bed, and stared at my own reflection. I could barely recognize myself. The young woman I knew was gone. I had huge bags under my eyes because I couldn't sleep well with the pain, and I now had sunken cheeks because of my weight loss. I looked at myself for a very long time before an idea popped into my mind, as if I was trying to make me feel worse about myself. I very slowly lifted up my shirt to reach the bandages that were covering my stomach. Very carefully because I knew my stitches were still a bit fragile, I started taking off the compress to finally see how big my scar was.

When my eyes finally landed on it, I felt tears forming in them and violently bit my lips in order to hold back the sob that was stuck in my throat. The huge scar was about five inches long and was distorting my right side. It was red and horribly swollen. I knew it was like that because my injuries were still new and it was going to get better, but I was finding it hideous. I wanted to approach my hand and touch it, but the pain suddenly stopped me. It acted like a trigger on me. I was in pain, I was scared and finally knowing how bad my scar was was only increasing my malaise. I moved to curl up in a foetal position and started crying loudly.

I stayed like that for a little while, laying in the darkness of the room, until I heard the door opening and Killian coming into the room. He had probably heard the sobs I wasn't able to stifle and without asking any question, he came to lay down next to me and take me into his arms.

I cuddled against his chest and kept crying for a long time. He was running his hand through my hair and kissed me several time on the temple, and I finally managed to calm down because his presence was making me feel better. Carefully in order not to hurt me, he lifted me up so I could sit without pulling away from me, and I could feel that he was very upset because of my crying. He just wanted me to be happy, and I knew he couldn't stand seeing me in that horrible state. He pressed a kiss on my forehead and asked gently :

"What's wrong, love? Are you in pain?"

"Yeah, but… It's not only that." I sniffled before lifting up my shirt to show him my scar.

He didn't flinch, and I felt impressed by his calm. He gently took my hand so I dropped the shirt and covered the injury before staring at me right into my eyes with a reassuring look on his face.

"Baby..."

"It's hideous." I cut him off.

"It's going to lessen, Swan. And I know it seems bad for now, but this scar is a symbol. It means you've survived. You should be proud of it, because you showed that you were stronger than death. It's a victory."

"I know." I said in a muffled voice, moved by his words and knowing deep inside that he was right.

I hesitated for a couple of seconds before admitting aloud that my scar wasn't the only reason was I was feeling so bad. I had never talked to him about my fear of the Evil Queen's return, even if I knew he had guessed how I was feeling because of all the nightmares that were haunting me at night. But this time the panic was stronger than ever, and I wanted to tell him everything. He could help me. He could comfort me, as always, and I finally decided to talk :

"That's not all, Killian. I… No one knows where the Evil Queen is and… what if she comes back? What if she tries to kill me again?"

"She won't come back, Emma." He answered gently. "We're going to get to her. I know it. She won't be a danger for much longer, and she will never hurt you again..."

"How do you know that? You're saying that to make me feel better, but if she attacks me again… I know I won't survive."

"I know you're scared, Emma." He said calmly. "Hell, I'm scared too. But it's going to be all right. We're going to find a solution. And if you want to talk to someone about these fears, Archie can help you. You can't stay like that, it's not healthy to be scared all the time..."

"I see her every time I close my eyes." I confessed before starting to cry again.

He embraced me once again to try and comfort me, and I buried my face in his shoulder. He gently kissed my neck and ran his hand up and down my spine. I could feel his distress of seeing me like that.

"The truth is I should have died. At least I wouldn't feel the pain anymore." I sobbed without thinking about what I was saying, and I felt his body stiffed against mine as he pulled me a little closer to his chest.

"Don't say that, sweetheart. Please. I know it hurts, and I know you're scared, but you have so many people here who love you. I couldn't stand losing you, you know..."

His broken voice made me realized what I had said, and I felt so guilty about my words. I didn't want to upset him. What I had told him was awful. I bit my lips and snuggled a little closer to his chest as if I was trying to apologize. I didn't know what to say to make things better, so I didn't talk right away and the silence filled the room. I finally stopped crying while he was still holding me tight. I ended up pulling away and said while wiping off the tears from my face :

"I'm sorry I said that..."

"You don't have to apologize, darling." He said with a comforting smile. "It's okay. It's going to get better, I promise."

He lost his serious look to offer me a mischievous smile and I didn't understand this change of mood before he said playfully :

"It's normal to be depressed. In addition to all of that, you can't even drink rum anymore."

I laughed a bit at his joke, moved by the fact he was always trying to make me feel better, even if the feeling only lasted for a couple of minutes. After regaining seriousness, I wrapped my arms around him once again, smelling his comforting fragrance of leather and sea. My world had been broken, but Killian was still there. He was never going to leave me intentionally. I knew he would help me overcome the pain and the fear. I was alive, it was a miracle, and I had to get better. For my parents, my son and Killian. As Hook had said, I had so many people who loved me in this world, and they were all going to help me, as I had helped them before. I wasn't alone anymore. I would never be.

* * *

And then life again.

The days were going by, and I was getting better and better. Of course I was still in pain most of the time, but it was nothing compared to how I was when I had woken up in the hospital. The fear was still awaking me at night, but Killian was always there to ease my nighttime terror. He just had to take me against him for me to calm down, and I was falling back to sleep while he was whispering gentle words in my ear.

My loved ones' presence was helping me more than any drugs could ever do. They were very caring with me, and with their support, I was slowly regaining some weight and was becoming myself again. My appointments with Archie several times a week were helping me a lot as well. With his help, I was finally talking about what I had lived recently : my accident of course, but also my time as a Dark One and my fear about losing Killian again. Thanks to the therapist, I wasn't as scared as before, and I was confident about the future.

Despite all of that, there were still rainy days, during which I felt like nothing would ever be like it was before. I couldn't even get out of my bed and was refusing to eat anything. The physical and psychological pain was too strong. Killian was always staying with me during those moments of despair, and his presence was enough for me to feel a little bit better.

And then there were the sunny days where everything seemed possible. A few hours spend pain-free, an afternoon with my son in the park, a romantic dinner with Killian. Life seemed beautiful, and I was so happy to be alive. I couldn't wait to see what the future was holding for us, and I felt invincible.

This accident, combined to all those things I had lived recently, had changed me. I wasn't the woman I was before, and I still didn't know if it was a good thing or not. The only thing I was sure of was that the bound that was uniting Killian and me was stronger than ever and that I was finally able to love without walls up, because I trusted him, probably more than I had ever trusted anyone in my entire life.

The Evil Queen was still out there. I had wanted revenge for a while, I had wanted to hurt her like she had hurt me, but I had understood it wasn't gonna help me. If someone had to kill her, it was Regina, not me, and I couldn't wish for her death like that, just to avenge myself. As Archie was always saying, revenge was for the weak who needed it to stay alive. Killian had managed to give up on his feelings, because he was strong. I could do the same. I was going to be strong as well, for my family, my friends and the future that was awaiting for us. And with a bit of luck, I wouldn't live another tragedy.

But if I didn't want to hurt her anymore, I wasn't going to let the Evil Queen be. I had to protect the town, I had to do my job. I would find her. I would find her, and I would defeat her. Regina would kill her, and my life could finally be normal again. No more fear, no more pain, just my family and me living our happily ever after. After everything I had been through, I knew I deserved it.

* * *

 **Here we go! Sorry for the mistakes I've probably made, and don't hesitate to leave a review on your way out! :à**


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